Can someone help me get my head around Europe’s fear of Russia? I’ve commented, many times, that the EU needs to get off their ass and take their neighbor seriously, but why are so many military and political leaders expecting an all out war?

Probably because they know that a war (big or small that it is) is the only way for Putin to stay in power. And Russia already shown that every treaty they sign is worth less than the paper used to write it.