I use debian 12 on my work laptop. I agree with your points but I still use it because I want the fundamental system to be stable, and then any software I want to be more up-to-date I build from source (tmux, alacritty, neovim) or download separately (vscode/slack/joplin).

I used to use ubuntu because it worked so well with my hardware ootb, but I got tired of snap.

I use debian with flatpaks. It is good enough for me. I like it and I am gonna keep using it.