You’re telling me we shouldn’t have trusted a sentient Annabelle doll in a t-shirt and jeans with the safety of defenseless children? Is THAT what you’re telling ME!? … Well, yeah, actually, that makes a lot of sense.

You mean we shouldn’t have put our children’s safety in the waxy grasp of a sentient Annabel in a t-shirt and jeans?

I accept cashier’s checks from all major banks.

Imagine productively responding to a problem instead of flipping out, throwing up your hands and then doing nothing?

Wild.

So the spyware will be built into American-made routers. Got it.

There is only one solution here. One. Mila Jojovich from Resident Evil. She’s dealt with worse.

Back in the olden times we used to have these things has a stroke called “Alarms.” Now, these “Alarms.” would alert people when their place was being robbed in old timey times. They cost an afternoon and a couple thousand to set up and would last 20+ years or so. A determined mildly technical person using Youtube could save on the labor and install it themselves.

KILL IT!

Just bring a portable power pack like it’s a steak and toss it to keep them occupied. They’re starving and will leave you alone. They only charge them up to 80% to keep them extra mean.